Be Still and Recover
Updated: May 8
I've been in recovery mode the last two weeks after having surgery. A surgery related to the delivery of my youngest. My youngest is seventeen years old! It's been a long time since his traumatic birth experience and the surgeries endured afterward.
Somehow having a new baby eases the pain recovery can bring. There's no baby this time; just pain.
Are you like me? I hold the belief that whatever mom is feeling during pregnancy and birth your baby is also experiencing. It's no wonder that I have two very different children who came into this world in their own distinct ways. Neither delivery went as planned (do they ever) but the last one went off the deep end on so many levels. That makes it hard to remember without all the emotions related to the day. These two boys have the same parents but different temperaments and personalities for a reason. Nature versus nurture--the jury is still out!
Don't worry mama, your birth experience (no matter how traumatic) didn't ruin your kids! We all have to make our own way into and out of this world. Each and every day we're learning to be better kinder human (spiritual) beings to ourselves and each other.
The wounds of motherhood came flooding back with this surgery. "Wounds of Motherhood" are the physical, emotional, and psychological scars that mothers can experience as a result of their roles as caretakers, nurturers, and providers. These wounds can manifest in a variety of ways and can affect mothers differently depending on their circumstances and experiences.
Physically, there are stretch marks, C-section scars, and other postpartum bodily changes that influence our self-esteem and confidence. A bad delivery can leave other physical scars that can last a lifetime.
Emotional wounds may stem from the pressures of being a "perfect" mother, dealing with postpartum depression, anxiety, or struggling to balance our own needs with those of the children.
Psychologically, there are wounds from societal expectations and judgments, such as the idea that we must sacrifice our own desires and ambitions for the sake of the children. These wounds can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and inadequacy.
Mine are purely physical at this point. It hurts down there. I know some of you can relate even years after you've given birth.
Mothering, working, and trying not to lose yourself in the process can be a real struggle. While we travel through different seasons during the course of mothering, we also need to acknowledge our own capacity for stress and pain in this very moment. How are you doing mama?
Did you take time to heal after delivering your babies? Even the best of birthing experiences require a bit of healing. No one ever tells you -- you'll never be the same in body or mind and there's hardly an opportunity to check-out and heal in the moment. Typically, we're physically healing and mothering at the same time.
I'm counting my blessings through this present healing journey. I'm so grateful for the seventeen years that are behind me and how much I've grown in my knowledge of healthy living. I'm much better at taking care of myself physically and emotionally than I was back then.
I know which foods are going to decrease inflammation and increase healing. I know how to stress less and take special care of my detox pathways after heavy medication to manage pain.
I'm super thankful for modern medicine and pain management when it's needed! Be kind to your liver, it's got some serious work to do to manage the meds!
Lastly, I'm grateful that my children are grown and I can spend this time solely healing. I'm not spending energy on anyone else's needs right now. Selfish? Nope! It's exactly what I need and my family is amazing for gifting me this time without expectation.
Thankfully my body is strong and healthy. I'm going to be better for years to come having made the decision to go under the knife. As we look ahead to Mother's Day, a day to celebrate your own mother and possibly yourself, remember that the Wounds of Motherhood don't have to sting years later.
Take what you've learned about yourself in each area (physical, emotional, and psychological) and turn every lesson into a gem you can use to be better and kinder to yourself and others. May you have peace in your hearts and minds as you move forward in this journey we call life!